The Shakespeare Question.

Viola, a young woman impersonating Edward de Vere.
Julia, a young woman impersonating Christopher Marlowe.

                    Act I: Conspiracy.

                    Scene I: Waiting for William Stanley 
                             and Sir Francis Bacon.

[Enter Viola and Julia]

                    Scene II: Writing Workshop.

Viola:
  Thou art the sum of a handsome beautiful fair flower and a plum.
  Thou art the sum of the square of thyself and a golden rose. Speak 
  thy mind! Thou art the sum of thyself and the difference between a 
  delicious cute fine blossoming rich Lord and a good healthy 
  summer's day. Speak thy mind! Thou art the difference between 
  thyself and a pony. Speak thy mind! Speak thy mind! Thou art the 
  difference between thyself and the sum of a joy and a bold happy 
  proud King. Speak thy mind! Thou art the sum of thyself and the 
  difference between a normal little blue bottomless purse and a 
  nose. Speak thy mind! Thou art the square root of the square of a 
  fat foul infected misused lying flirt-gill. Speak thy mind! Thou 
  art the sum of myself and a thing. Open your heart! You are the 
  difference between a flower and a stinking vile dusty blister. 
  Speak your mind!

Julia:
  Thou art the sum of thyself and a hair.

                    Scene III: Academic Conference.

Viola:
  Thou art the difference between a miserable stuffed toad and a 
  disgusting fat-kidneyed hairy oozing hog. You are the difference 
  between the square of thyself and a cursed dirty rotten beggar. 
  Thou art the sum of a flower and the sum of thyself and a flower.

  Am I worse than Julia? 
  
  If so, let us proceed to Scene II.